Depression is a tiring and on-going part of my existence and often feels like it’s my entire being. First diagnosed my freshman year in high school, but nothing done to try to help until my senior year. I learned a few things, but being an Atheist and parents choosing a religion-based therapist caused more issues than it really solved. When my therapist told my mom I seem to have more issues with my step-father than my own father (the reason for the court-ordered therapy), my mom dismissed it and I lost all belief in it being able to help.
I am 30 now and have tried multiple counselors and multiple medications, but now anxiety is an issue as well. I am fighting as much as I can to try to have a normal life, but most days have lost the will to fight. I strive to be myself, my own weird self versus normal, but I do wish regularly to have a more normal life. I have no friends in my life I can call upon if I want to just have a lunch/dinner with or someone to go to a movie with despite how much I try. In August I lost my support structure after being fired from my 7 year job where I had wonderful coworkers and I have been struggling significantly worse since then. Crying almost daily. Sorry, nothing profound at the end of this post.