I: Innocence

This is done out of alphabetic order as I feel the need to write about this today.  I honestly was kind of proud of my Guenivere post until I found out something devastating last night.

My darling niece has been getting molested by a relative for quite a while.  The whole believing I had a special connection with her is obviously incorrect.  Last post a bit fraudulent.  Flashbacks of finding out my sisters were both victims of our step-brother and I was oblivious.  I was fighting my own battle with our Step-father, but I’m the oldest and should have been watching out for them.  The guilt the last 20 hours have been building.

I keep thinking about her lost innocence.  Something that once lost can never be found again.  The only reason why we know now is because she was afraid she was pregnant, so asked her babysitter about it.  She lost a step-sister due to divorce and was afraid if she told anyone she’d lose a cousin as well.

Innocence is taken so easily from a child.  She will never be the same; our family will not be the same.  She was the only kind-hearted, believer, and open-hearted child of the four and I fear through counseling and this experience that she’ll disappear.  I treasured the innocence in her personality.  8 and still a strong believer in the tooth fairy, Santa, and the wonders of the world.