I struggle to make friends.  Lots of people are friendly to me, during the day time it feels fine, but I get extremely lonely at night.  I thought I finally made a friend — a real one.  We’ve been talking via email for a couple months, then once we met, we text/facebook/email/words with friends chat about our work a lot, his kids, and lots about Star Trek and pizza.  Odd combination, I know, but it’s what happened :-b.  I don’t usually have people who actually want to hear about my work day, several exes have complained that I talk about work too much, so was really nice to have someone regularly ask about it.

I got out of character texts from him last night, through discussing it with my mother I have decided it must have been his ex writing to me, and then a Facebook message telling me we can’t be friends anymore because his ex and kids mean too much to him.  That one sounded like him.

Still — we had a whole weekend planned out together all about Star Trek and I got him a birthday present that now just stares at me.  I cried a lot this morning and I just don’t know what to do with myself.  I have trust issues.  He kept telling me that he’s there for me and will be.  I finally started to believe him last week and started really opening up with what is going on in my mind when I am depressed.


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