One of the hardest thing for me to gauge when I am this depressed is if my reaction is a reasonable one. I got really upset at my mother this morning. I didn’t do anything about it, so I kept it to myself, but I am overreacting by getting upset in the first place? I lose patience when I am depressed. I think part of it is due to trouble sleeping. I got over 8 hours of sleep last night, but you couldn’t tell by how exhausted I’ve felt all day. I’ve gotten a few loads of laundry done. Got myself to eat a bit (sadly, an accomplishment right now).
So, I got up and did a load of laundry right away this morning. I put the pants over the washer door as I was hanging them up on hangers and putting them up in my bathroom, etc to dry. As I am half way done, my mom comes downstairs and throws a load in. When I go to grab the last two off the door to hang up, she’s already got the soap in and everything. I was going to do another load. Why does her sheets take president over my clothes? No talking about it, nothing. Same, as when I do a load I make sure no one wants to shower in the next hour. Something they never consider when starting the dishwasher (which takes almost 2 hours) or the washer. Our water pressure isn’t that great to have two things going. She then starts talking about some crap I don’t care about, but since I was angry I couldn’t really listen and just go, “uh huh” to whatever she was saying. I know it is a little thing, but one of so many and showing a lack of respect to me, in my opinion.
Yep, been trying to get any plans set up with anyone right now. It’s amazing how productive I can be if I have plans later with someone. But nothing, no follow-through people. So, I’ve spent all day (it’s 4:10pm now) on the computer. Responding to ads, reading emails, sending emails, playing stupid Facebook games, etc.
I wish I didn’t need outside motivation, but I do.