I feel all alone.

My band director from college talked to me yesterday telling me I need to learn to be alone.  Much easier said than done and I don’t really know if I want to.  He did help me realize I need to let my niece go.  She is stronger than I am giving her credit for and she knows her smarts and talents are more important than her looks, that her mother stresses and cares most about.  I know I need to separate myself from my family, so much more harm than good.

I have large goals for 2017 and honestly for the first four months.
Jan 23rd — Driver’s test.  Still need to set up a final lesson, research car insurance etc.
Get a new Job – either rework my resume or talk to my manager about becoming assistant manager
Move — find a place, pack, and so on.
Get my own cellphone plan — research multiple plans/companies

I have lived with my mother for 7 years now.  I work a crappy low pay job.  I have no friends within an hour radius and the ones outside of it don’t ever visit me, I have to visit them despite not having a driver’s license.  I need new glasses (they hurt my face and old prescription), I just don’t know.  Just down.  Even my penpal of 8 years hasn’t written me in over two months when it’s usually 2-3 times a month.  Writing letters helps me settle my emotions, but even my prison penpal keeps calling me instead.

I feel lost.
I feel lonely.
I am angry with myself.


3 thoughts on “Lonely

  1. RE driver’s test: you got this! believe in the me that believes in you! 😀

    also, here’s my address if you want a new pen pal. ::poke poke::
    James Parker
    200 Nathan Ln N
    Apt 111
    Plymouth, MN 55441

    but in all seriousness, I’m sorry things are sucky right now. just hold out until the Good Times return. sometimes that’s really all we can do.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well thank you for believing in me :-b.
      I can definitely write you, I really do enjoy writing pen to paper and could use someone else besides Tara receiving sometimes 3 letters in a week from me.


    • So, my letter to you was returned because I had put it in a square envelope, which apparently costs more. So, writing a new one and will send out in the next 2 days.


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