I feel all alone.
My band director from college talked to me yesterday telling me I need to learn to be alone. Much easier said than done and I don’t really know if I want to. He did help me realize I need to let my niece go. She is stronger than I am giving her credit for and she knows her smarts and talents are more important than her looks, that her mother stresses and cares most about. I know I need to separate myself from my family, so much more harm than good.
I have large goals for 2017 and honestly for the first four months.
Jan 23rd — Driver’s test. Still need to set up a final lesson, research car insurance etc.
Get a new Job – either rework my resume or talk to my manager about becoming assistant manager
Move — find a place, pack, and so on.
Get my own cellphone plan — research multiple plans/companies
I have lived with my mother for 7 years now. I work a crappy low pay job. I have no friends within an hour radius and the ones outside of it don’t ever visit me, I have to visit them despite not having a driver’s license. I need new glasses (they hurt my face and old prescription), I just don’t know. Just down. Even my penpal of 8 years hasn’t written me in over two months when it’s usually 2-3 times a month. Writing letters helps me settle my emotions, but even my prison penpal keeps calling me instead.
I feel lost.
I feel lonely.
I am angry with myself.